shame on you?
What the Rav said:
That’s what purifies, that’s what cleans…
A person should spend money so that they shout at him.
He should hire people so that they should scream at him.
The tzadikim would pay people to scream at them.
The daughter of the Noda Beyehudah met for the first time with her husband-to-be, who was called Yosef the Tzadik, and who later became the Rav of the City of Pozna. He told her, he would marry her on condition that she would embarrass or disgrace him every single day!
We’re so careful to avoid people shouting at us, people disgracing us.
Many marriages, G-d forbid, break up due to one or both spouses not treating the other nicely.
I’m not condoning that, and everyone should work on their own middot.
However, when Hashem arranges for me to receive ‘bizayon’ – embarrassment, disparagement – I’m actually, in truth, benefitting greatly from being torn down.
This is the way a person gets cleaned and purified. This is the way a person atones for their sins and attains some humility.
If we can internalise this message, we can merit great things from accepting our bizayon with love.